


Find My Way Back

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bechdel Test Pass, Episode Related, Episode: s03e11 Going Home, F/F, FTL AU, Female Friendship, Female Homosexuality, Female Protagonist, Female Relationships, Female-Centric, POV Female Character, Post-Episode: s03e11 Going Home, Second Chances, Young Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Young Emma Swan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 10:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2305772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When you find the answer you seek..." What Regina saw when she fainted on contact with the scroll of the Dark Curse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [y0ungatheart (fenixnegra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenixnegra/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Weary Dreams](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1804153) by [y0ungatheart (fenixnegra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenixnegra/pseuds/y0ungatheart). 



> Date Written: originally started 31 July 2014, completely redone 6-18 September 2014  
> Word Count: 20636 per AO3  
> Written for: Swan Queen Big Bang: Banging All Summer 2014  
> Artist: y0ungatheart  
> Based on: "Weary Dreams" fanmix  
> Summary: "When you find the answer you seek, send my student back to me. I have much to teach her."  
> Spoilers: Major canon divergence AU of episode 03x11 "Going Home".  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: I had an entirely different idea in mind originally when I'd listened to this fanmix. Hopefully that idea will still pan out at some point, and y0ungatheart will get an extra gift of a story based on her awesome fanmix. Then I started a second idea that was close to this final product. Until I had a revelation, thanks to Rumplestiltskin, and did a complete rewrite of the story in like 5 days. I do not recommend that sort of thing, to be honest, but I've always worked best under pressure. Let's hope that's continued here.
> 
> Research Notes: This is pretty much going to be a series of links at the end of the final chapter that I used for various parts of my research in doing this story. As I don't speak Portuguese myself, most of my links are for that. If I have something incorrect, please let me know and I'll correct it. The translations for the Portuguese words will be in each chapter's notes. For the record, I chose the Portuguese word for "apple tree" as the name of Xavier's kingdom [Macieira] and the language of its people [Macieiran].
> 
> Dedication: My muses for always being incredible…
> 
> Beta: Many thanks to [Shatterpath](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterpath), [TheOnlySPL](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOnlySPL), and [dailydirtythoughts](http://dailydirtythoughts.tumblr.com/) for their beta eyes on this beast of mine. Any remaining errors are entirely my fault. Mea culpa.

"Regina?"

My entire body aches like I've been slammed against something hard. Like the ground.

"Regina?"

I groan softly, feeling the ground lurch beneath me. And then hands are touching me gently: testing my limbs for breaks -- which there thankfully doesn't appear to be any, or I'd be in utter agony right now -- before cradling my head and causing me to hiss in pain as that lightly calloused hand presses into a tender spot.

"Regina?"

I know that voice. Even through the hysteria bubbling at the edge of that repetition of my name, I know that voice. Frowning, I try to move, but succeed only in shuddering through a bright flare of pain coursing through my entire body. What is going on?

"Come on, princess, open those eyes for me."

Princess? Why on earth would anyone be calling me _princess_? Especially--

"E-Emma?" I hate that I sound so pathetically weak, but something's wrong and that terrifies me.

"That's it, princess. Come back to me now. Let me know you're all right."

It takes several tries, but I finally open my eyes to squint at a blurry face surrounded by a halo of gold. Blinking rapidly to clear my vision of any tears that might have welled up, it takes a moment for her to come into sharp clarity. Her eyes fill my vision first, flecks of sky, earth, and sun making the verdant green stand out in sharp contrast. Her fear has pulled her skin into creased lines radiating out toward her temples. They're there because of _me_. That's not… 

"Where am I?" I ask softly as the surroundings finally come into my view. "Emma, where are we? Where's Henry?"

"Just lie still, princess," she says, not letting me sit up. "Lord Henry's gone to find the physician to ascertain the extent of your injuries."

"Lo-- Emma, what is going on here? Why are you doing this? What game are you playing? We need to stop Pan from casting the curse. I don't have time for this foolery."

She frowns, the movement causing more of those creases in her forehead, and reaches down to rest the back of her fingers against my forehead. "Shh, princess, just rest easy now. Your father will be back with the physician soon enough."

"Emma, please." I can feel the panic tightening my throat, the words struggling to escape. "Stop playing this game with me. Where is our son?"

"Our s-- What are you saying, princess? That fall must have addled your wits."

Trying to sit up, I feel the bile rising in my throat at the lance of pain shooting along my spine. Tears well in my eyes again, slipping past my lashes without permission to leave chilled tracks in their wake. Before she can protest again, I settle back onto the ground, suddenly overwhelmed by the scents of warm earth and decay so reminiscent of autumn in my childhood home. What in the hell is going on here? The answer doesn't come readily, but I find myself starting to calm infinitesimally at the gentle stroke of her fingers over my forehead and hair.

"Emma, please tell me what happened. How did I end up like this? Something's not right here and I can't figure out why you're acting like this."

She smiles sadly and nods, opening her mouth to speak, but the words that come next are not hers.

"Regina? Oh honey, please be all right. Your mother will never let me hear the end of it if you're seriously hurt."

My eyes close immediately at those words and the gentle, worried tone that wraps around me just like it always did when I was younger. I haven't heard that voice in nearly thirty years, other than in my dreams, and I start crying even harder at the insanity of what is currently happening. "D-Daddy?"

I feel the warmth of his body as he kneels next to me, wiping at the tears slipping down my cheeks. "Just relax, honey, I've brought Master Rumplestiltskin to see to your wounds if you have any."

"Rumple-- Daddy, he shouldn't be here. Mama would be so angry to find him here."

A soft sound comes from my other side, from behind Emma, and my entire body stiffens unconsciously. "Now why would she be angry to have me here, child? It was she who employed me as your tutor." His voice sounds more like the man I've dealt with in Storybrooke, but there's just the faintest undercurrent of insanity in his brogue. "You just rest here while I make sure nothing's been damaged irreparably." There's another soft sound, this time of bodies moving, and the air currents shift on that side of my body. "Girl, your services are no longer needed here. You should attend to getting the princess' horse before the Lady Cora has you caned for disobedience and flagrant disregard for your position here."

"Aye, Master Rumplestiltskin," comes Emma's subdued reply before I feel the touch of her aura fading away from me.

"You, too, Your Grace," he says, a bit more of that insanity creeping into his voice. "You know what your lady wife thinks of the worth of that steed."

"But Regina--"

"Will be completely fine," he cuts in smoothly. "Unless you don't trust my talents to keep your darling progeny safe?"

The unspoken threat is enough to set my teeth on edge, but I say nothing as I still don't know exactly what's going on here. I have no idea how Daddy will respond or even how Emma could be here, but I will do my best to play my role here until I can decipher the clues and get back to my family in Storybrooke. It comes as no surprise when Daddy sighs softly. Even in this place, he's still the cowed, practically cuckolded husband only nominally in control of his home and family. I shouldn't be shocked that Mama hasn't changed either. I doubt she even has her heart here.

Daddy's fingers gently brush the hair back from my forehead before he presses his lips to that same spot, stubble leaving a comforting burn against my skin. It's enough to bring on a fresh spate of tears, especially when he whispers, "Please be all right, Regina. I love you and I would hate myself for the rest of my life if you were permanently hurt from this."

And then he pulls back and gets to his feet, left knee cracking in the process, just as it always did when I was younger. He pauses for a moment, then walks away, and I feel my heart get heavier. I never opened my eyes when he was at my side. What if this is the only time I interact with him here?

"You'll see your precious father again soon enough, dearie." The sibilant notes of insanity are fully present in his hissed words, and I can taste the foulness of his breath. It's enough to make my stomach lurch painfully. "Open your eyes, Regina. Let me see who you are." What an odd ques-- " _Please_."

My eyes open against my will, a surge of angry desperation coursing through my veins. "How did you do that? That's not supposed to work anymo--" I stop speaking, flushing as I realize what I might have just given away. What if this blunder gave him the idea to use that damned geas on me in the first place?

"Interesting." He giggles then, the sound both terrifying and oddly comforting. "So there _is_ a version out there where I can control you with a single word. That's gratifying to know. That means I'm able to complete my task and make good on my promise."

"What are you talking about? What's going on here, Rumple? And where the hell am I?"

He tsks and plucks a small potion bottle from his pocket, holding it up to the sun to stare into the amber liquid inside. "Such language is not becoming of a princess in line for the throne of her ancestors. What _would_ your dear mother think if she found out what you've said?" Before I can answer, he pockets the bottle and repeats the motion with another bottle of a sickly pink color. "Better yet, why don't you tell me where you're from and what you're doing here, dearie?"

I blink at him owlishly, unsure how to respond to that. "I'm not sure I under--"

"Stop playing games, dearie," he growls, bottle disappearing as he leans in close enough for our noses to touch. I find myself caught in the play of sunlight in those crazed eyes. This must be what a mouse feels like when cornered by a serpent. "Tell me how you got here and what your purpose is, _Your Highness_. And where is the pliable princess that I was supposed to be training? What have you done with her?"

"I--" My voice cracks alarmingly on that single word, forcing me to cough and swallow painfully. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know how I got here or where your 'pliable princess' is. I don't even know where _here_ is."

He leans back then, resting on his haunches as he studies my face before gesturing around him. "Oh come now, Regina. Surely you remember your childhood home, don't you? Or has it been so long that you've forgotten your semi-humble beginnings?"

I try to get up again, hissing in pain, and pound my fist into the ground. "This isn't my home. You were never my tutor, not when Mama was still around, and definitely not when I still lived in the manor. That wasn't until I married--" My eyes dart around from my useless vantage point. "He's not _here_ , is he?"

"No, dearie, he's not here." There's an odd wistfulness in his voice but, before I can ask him about it, he shakes his head and hovers his hands over my body. I can feel the aches and pains dissipating everywhere but the back of my head. "Sit up, Regina. I need to see to that bump on your head."

Moving slowly, I ease up into a seated position, knees pulled up to take the weight of my elbows as my hands cradle my aching head. Tears keep coming as I try, and fail, to grasp what's going on. The pain increases as Rumple prods at the lump at the base of my skull. I do my best to remain stoic, but the pain and confusion eat away at my resolve.

"Master Rumplestiltskin?" Daddy calls from across the way. "Will my daughter be all right?"

"She's had a nasty bump to the head, Your Grace," he replies as his fingertips press into the bump roughly, causing me to cry out in pain. "It's not something I can cure with magic, not until the swelling goes down. I'm afraid the princess will be forced to bedrest until that happens."

I try to say something, but only manage to vomit in a most spectacular fashion due to the pain just inflicted on me. That embarrassment, combined with the nausea of being in pain in the first place, causes me to cry harder. "Why are you being such an unmitigated bastard?"

"Because, dearie," he growls in my ear, "all variables are known to me." As Daddy comes closer, Emma following him with the horse in tow, Rumple presses harder on my head. My vision swims and begins to go black from the pain. Just before I succumb to the darkness, he whispers, "When you find the answer you seek, send my student back to me. I have much to teach her."


	2. Chapter 2

I have no idea how I got from the meadow to my bedroom in the manor, nor do I have any idea how much time has passed while I lay in the bed I grew up in. All I know is that I woke up to Emma giving me a partial sponge bath as Mama looked on. Because that's not strange at all.

"Well, isn't that lovely? Look who's decided to join the living again. How are you feeling, Regina?"

My eyes open to stare at her as my vision clears, only to be blurred again by the sting of tears at seeing her face. I'll never get over her death or the part of it I was tricked into playing. "Mama?"

She waves her hand and Emma stops immediately to pick up the basin and back out of the room. I frown slightly at how Mama's treating her, but don't have the strength to say anything about it. Only when Emma is gone and the door is closed again does she move closer, sitting next to me on the bed. I can't help but lean into her hand stroking my hair gently.

"What happened yesterday, my love?" Her voice is soft, and I can hear _You would've been enough_ running through my head. "I thought you were better on your horse than that. How could you get thrown so badly?"

I shake my head, tears welling in my eyes as I pray that she has her heart in this world. "I don't know," I reply honestly. "Something must have spooked him. Maybe a snake in the grass or something?"

She nods slowly, head tilted to the side as she stares at me. I meet her scrutiny openly for a moment before remembering my childhood training and drop my gaze, biting my bottom lip.

"Don't bite your lip, Regina. It mars your beauty and makes you less desirable to a future husband."

"Yes, Mama. I'm sorry, Mama."

"That's my good girl." Her fingers move back through my hair to cradle the back of my head, causing me to wince when she hits the lump that's still there. "I'm not sure _why_ he can't heal that for you. It's clear you haven't lost your wits from your fall. He's supposed to be such a powerful sorcerer, but he can't do this one simple thing? _I_ could do it if I wanted to." She smiles sweetly at me then. "Would you like that, my love? Shall I heal your wound?"

"If you wish to," I finally reply, not sure how else to reply. "I'm sure Master Rumplestiltskin knows what he's doing with regard to my health and wellbeing. You wouldn't have hired him on to tutor me if he didn't, right, Mama?" I return the sweet smile, wincing slightly as she strokes a finger across the tender lump.

"You have a point, Regina." She leans over to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. "Get your rest now, my love. I'll check in on you again later."

"Thank you, Mama. Will-- Will you send in Emma to sit with me? I'm not sure I want to be completely alone right now."

That intense regard focuses on me again for a long moment, and I fear that I've given away my alien status in this world. Then she smiles and nods once. "As you wish, Regina. I hope she's been learning how to be a proper young lady while working with you. We wouldn't want her to take it back to Swanbrooke Manor that we didn't give her a full, rounded education, would we?"

"No, Mama, we wouldn't." I yawn, the movement not even feigned in the slightest, and feel my eyelids drooping.

"Rest now, my love. Emma will be here shortly and I'll come to see you again later."

*****

Consciousness returns slowly, but I don't want to open my eyes just yet. There's a soft voice singing, and my interest is piqued, but I know that if I open my eyes it will stop. It's Emma. I can tell by the faint hitch in her voice on some of the higher notes, but she gamely tries to complete the song anyway. It's one Mama taught me at a young age, one that I could sing in my sleep if need be. She's missed a few notes here and there, but she's doing her best at it. I'm unsure as to why she's singing it in such a key when that's clearly out of her comfortable register, but it's endearing in its own right.

"Damn!"

The word is colored with the faintest traces of pain. She sighs softly and I can hear an oddly wet sound briefly before she begins the song again. She only sings a few lines before swearing again. Now I can't help but shift in my bed, curious as to what is bothering her so.

"I know you're awake, princess," she says softly. "You don't have to feign sleep with me. I'll not tell your lady mother that you've awakened if you don't wish me to."

A sheepish smile spreads across my face as I open my eyes to meet her gaze. There's mischief sparkling in those eyes, even as pain chases in the darker shadows. "How did you know I was awake? I barely registered it myself."

"You stopped snoring," she finally says, a delightful blush tinting her face ever pinker. "I mean-- Your breathing changed."

Laughter bubbles up past my lips as I watch her, holding up a hand in surrender. "I won't argue over whether or not I did as you say. I was deeply asleep, after all." Shifting to sit up a bit, I fail to stifle a moan, promptly a flurry of activity from Emma. "Ugh! How bad _was_ that fall if I'm still so very sensitive?"

"Rest easy, Reg-- princess." Her cheeks darken again at the slip of the tongue, and she won't meet my gaze as she gently presses me back down into the mattress. "Lady Cora and Master Rumplestiltskin both said that you must remain abed until the latter has determined you healed. Trips to the garderobe are all that are allowed, and even those are highly frowned up."

"So…" I sigh heavily, fighting the shudder of recognition at her explanation. "Chamber pots. And you're to keep them cleaned, is that it?"

She nods slowly, a frown on her face. "That's part of my duties as your handmaiden, princess." She studies me for a long moment, the backs of her fingers resting against my forehead again. "Perhaps I _should_ go fetch your lady mother or the master. You aren't acting right in the head. Uh, begging your pardon, princess."

My hand snakes out to grip her wrist as she starts to turn away. "No!" We both freeze at the vehemence in my tone and I force myself to relax back into the pillows. "Please, I'm all right. I just don't like being unable to do things myself, especially with regard to the garderobe and bodily functions."

Emma smiles tightly and returns to her place next to my bed, frowning as she picks up her needlework. "Oh no! I left a bloodstain on the linen. Lady Cora will have me flogged for ruining it." The terror in her tone is palpable enough for my own heart to begin racing. When I notice her hands begin to shake, I shift closer to the edge of the bed and stretch out my hand toward her.

"Let me see it, Emma."

"Oh no, princess! You're not meant to see this."

I let a soft chuckle escape my lips. "And yet you choose to work on it while sitting next to me? I think you want me to see it."

"It's-- Lady Cora has tasked me with working on your trousseau, as you may know." The mention of a trousseau sends spikes of dread lancing through my entire body. "A-Are you all right, princess? You've gone awfully pale."

It takes a moment before mouth and brain work in tandem enough to eke out five simple words. "Who am I to wed?"

She shakes her head. "Oh, nobody knows that yet. Lady Cora says that you aren't required to consider marriage proposals until you ascend to the throne." She grins conspiratorially and leans in. "Rumor in the kitchen is that she's entertaining the idea of a grand ball and inviting the heads of all the influential kingdoms to see what they'll offer for their sons to become your prince consort. Not that I believe any of the scullery maids' rumors, mind you."

"Of course not."

I try to smile at her, let her know that I'm all right with her indulging in a little courtly intrigue, even if we're not really living at court here at the manor. I'm sure the smile doesn't make it anywhere near my lips. Daddy once told me how he and Mama met and married, how she'd ridiculed Grandfather before eventually becoming Daddy's princess. But Daddy was fifth in line for the throne when he and Mama married…

"Emma, what throne am I ascending to?"

"The throne of Macieira, of course. Don't you remember?"

"I guess that fall hurt me worse than expected. Would you mind terribly giving me a reminder of how it came to be that I'm to take my grandfather's throne?"

She smiles indulgently and shifts to bring her chair closer to my bed. "Hopefully you remember your father, Lord Henry, is the fourth child of King Xavier, behind two brothers and a sister." When I nod, she smiles and continues. "Crown Prince Adrian, your eldest uncle, was married to the only sister of King Midas. They bore twins, a boy and a girl. Upon her birth, your cousin Elisa was promised to the Faith of the Seven Gods, the religious order in Midas' kingdom, as of her tenth birthday or the start of her moon's blood, whichever came first. Your cousin Davi was second in line to the throne until he and his mother perished when the carriage they were traveling in was overtaken by brigands."

I nod slowly, remembering attending that funeral. I'd been only a small girl when Davi died, but I remember Daddy being distraught over the loss of his favorite nephew. "I remember Davi. He visited us a few times when my uncle or grandfather came to visit us. Davi tried to teach me a bit of Macieiran, which Mama did not like, but she let him do it while he was here." I frown again at the bittersweet memories. "She forbade Daddy and me to speak Macieiran around here. I fear I only know a smattering of words now."

"Somehow I think you'll be learning more as you come closer to your ascension to the throne." Emma smiles encouragingly, waiting until I return the expression to continue. "After your uncle Adrian failed in his attempt to take his own life out of grief over the loss of his entire family, your grandfather enacted an ancient rite to allow your next uncle Samuel to step in as Heir Apparent until Prince Adrian regained his sanity."

Memories of Daniel's death and my own grief overwhelm me, and I can understand Adrian's desire to end his life rather than life with the loss and guilt that he survived without them. But then I remember my Henry and my Emma-- Well, not _my_ Emma, but the Emma I know from Storybrooke. She is definitely different from this Emma sitting so close to me, and yet… Leaning in slightly closer, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, unwilling to part with the comforting scents that are so distinctly her.

"And finally there is your Aunt Amélia, who was called to become a devotee of the Order of the Light. It is said she will be involved in your coronation ceremony."

"But I don't understand something. If Samuel is Heir Apparent in Adrian's stead, how am I to ascend to the throne? I understand that both Elisa and Amélia are not in line for the throne due to their religious vows, but that still leaves me fourth in line to the throne, after my uncles and father."

She stares at me then, and I realize that this is something I should obviously know in this realm. Thank the gods for that fall. I can explain away almost any discrepancies in my memories and behavior on that. 

"Do you not remember that your father was nearly nine and twenty when he married your mother, and he is the youngest of four. While your grandfather is still quite vital at five and eighty years, your uncles and father are all growing too old to properly rule Macieira when he is no longer king. Crown Prince Adrian still has not fully regained his wits fifteen years after his tragedies, and he is nearly five and sixty. Prince Samuel turns sixty this year. And your father, of course, is seven and forty. He's young enough to take the throne after his father, but has been too far outside of the courtly dealings to feel he can rule properly. All of them have sworn vows to abdicate their rights to the throne to let you rule when King Xavier no longer can. Princes Adrian and Samuel have already been approved to be on your privy council when you become Queen Regnant."

"So Mama still gets her wish to make me a queen," I mutter, feeling a heaviness in my chest that makes breathing painful. "What am I going to do?"

"Princess?"

The worry in her tone is enough to snap me out of my stupor and I smile wanly at her. "I'm fine, Emma. I'm just-- It's a lot to take in, I suppose. Do you think you could fetch me some broth and bread? I'm feeling a little hungry right now."

"Of course, princess!" She quickly gets to her feet, setting her needlework in her chair. "Shall I send in your lady mother while I'm gone?"

"It's not necessary, but that would be fine. I'm sure she's worried about me still."

Emma smiles brightly and leans over to adjust the covers over me again. It brings that scent, both familiar and entirely new, to my nose. It also allows me to see something unguarded and vulnerable in her eyes when she thinks I'm not watching her. Could that be affection? For me?

_When you find the answer you seek…_

Oh my…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>   * _querida_ : honey/darling
>   * _amo-te_ : I love you
> 


~one week later~

"She's not an invalid, Henry! Why must you coddle her so? She is to be a queen one day."

Daddy glares at Mama and continues to help me down from Rocinante's back. His smile is broad for me as I settle onto the ground, slightly winded from an all-out run on my beloved steed's back. I'm still not sure how Mama let me ride bareback, but I won't ever look that gift horse in the mouth. Pun _entirely_ intended. I think it has something to do with a rumor about Grandfather visiting. Won't _that_ be a fascinating experience? I hardly dealt with him when I was younger. When Davi and his mother had died, we went to the funeral, as was fitting of a member of the family, but that was pretty much the end of it. Daddy and Grandfather never really saw eye to eye on a lot of things. I'm not sure how that's changed in this realm, and I'm too afraid to ask.

"That was wonderful, honey," he says softly, kissing my cheek.

Even after a week of being here, it still hurts every single time he touches me or talks to me. I know what I did to him, what I can never undo. Will the same thing happen in this realm? Does the fact that Rumple is my mentor here so early change that fact? What was it he said again? 

_…send my student back to me. I have much to teach her._

What in the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? What is he teaching her here? And why is Mama allowing it?

"Regina, dear, you should at least thank your father for the compliment."

Leave it to Mama to bring me out of my thoughts. I can feel my cheeks heating up with embarrassment. "Yes, Mama. I'm sorry." I flash an apologetic smile at both of them. "Thank you, Daddy. I think I can do better if I try again, but my shoulders feel tight."

"If you would sit on that horse properly, Regina--"

"Leave her be, Cora." I blink in surprise at Daddy's words, then glance over to where Emma and Rumple stand behind Mama. He would never interrupt her like that, especially with an audience. "She rode the horse just fine. She has been stuck in her bed or a litter for the last week. Of course, she's going to have some issues with getting her form back."

"She also needs to attend her lessons with Master Rumplestiltskin." With those words, I know that my brief bit of freedom with Daddy and Rocinante is over. "Come along, Regina. You'll need to clean up before your lessons."

"Yes, Mama," I reply, biting my bottom lip as I pet Rocinante's neck one last time. "Am I allowed to put Rocinante back in his stall first?"

"No, Regina, your father can take care of that. Master Rumplestiltskin and young Emma are waiting on you for your lessons. How can you expect to run an entire kingdom one day if you can't even keep to your schedule now?"

Daddy pulls me into a one-armed hug and kisses my cheek again. "It's all right, honey. You know I'll take good care of your baby for you. Go on and attend to your lessons. You know your grandfather will be pleased to hear of your progress when we send the next update to him."

"Thank you, Daddy," I reply and kiss his cheek in return, then whisper, "I love you."

" _Amo-te, querida_ ," he whispers back, still doing what he can to defy Mama's edict and teach me the language of his ancestors, of the kingdom I'll one day rule. Or rather, that my counterpart will one day rule.

I quickly school my features into an appropriate look, then follow Mama and Rumple back to the house, Emma walking quietly beside me. Before I realize what's happening, I feel her hand grasp mine and squeeze lightly before releasing it again. If I hadn't actually seen her arm move in the corner of my eye, I'd swear it was an hallucination. The faint tinge to her cheeks is another clear indication that she did it. Does this mean what I think it means? And if _this_ Emma could have feelings for me, what of _my_ Emma back in Storybrooke?

*****

It feels good to have a proper bath again after so many sponge baths over the last week. But Rumple could find no reason to keep me from attending to my proper duties and activities. That's how I managed to get in a ride today, as well as this bath, even if I had to wait all day for it. Just sitting in the hot water, steam rising up around me, is heavenly. There are other things I miss doing, but having Emma sleeping in my room each night has precluded me from engaging in them. The fact that I've been dreaming about her in ways that those activities would be involved has not helped one bit.

"Regina?" Mama's voice floats into the room through the door. I swear she uses magic to amplify it somehow. "May I come in?"

"Yes, Mama," I call out, turning my head to see Emma quickly getting to her feet to open the door.

"Why are you still lazing about in that tub, my love? You should be getting dressed and into your warm bed. You'll catch a death of a chill in this night air."

Bath now officially finished, I sigh and stand to step into the towel suddenly held up for me by Emma. I note that she can't meet my gaze until I'm securely wrapped in the large rectangle of material and out of the water. Just how long has this been going on? She offers a shy smile, then guides me to the chaise in front of the fire and motions for me to sit. Once I've settled, she begins to brush out my hair. I can feel her taking special care not to tug too hard on any snarls she may find. She's also being very careful around the site of the bump on the back of my head. The swelling went down days ago, but she's still barely able to graze that skin.

"To what do I owe this visit, Mama?" I finally ask after she clears her throat.

Mama walks carefully around the room before stopping in front of me. Bending slightly, she cups her hand under my chin and studies my face for a long moment. For some reason, I don't drop my gaze this time, nor does she reprimand me for it. And then she lets go of my chin and settles next to me on the chaise, causing Emma to stop combing my hair for a brief bit.

"How are you feeling, my love?" she asks, reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. "Any residual pain from your nasty fall last week?"

I shake my head, the movement somehow breaking Emma's paralysis and she begins to comb my hair again. "I'm feeling fine, Mama. The bath did wonders to make me feel fresh and clean again. And Master Rumplestiltskin says that I don't appear to have lost much information from my studies, so that keeps apace as well." I smile at her, genuinely treasuring any time I can spend with her. I'm still not sure if she has her heart here, but there haven't been any of her usual punishments from my childhood, so I'm hoping I'm safe.

"I'm glad to hear that, Regina." She studies the fire for a long moment. "You know, when you were born, I thought you would make everything perfect for your father and me. You would become the princess and eventual queen that I'd dreamed of." Her eyes return to mine. "And now, with your uncles and father choosing not to take the throne after your grandfather, it would appear that dream is coming true."

"It all seems so unreal, Mama." The awe in my words is not feigned, not by a long shot. "I know that you have plans for me. I want to be the very best person I can be to my grandfather's subjects. That's why I work so hard at my studies."

"And you are excelling in ways that I never could have imagined," she replies. "Magic notwithstanding, you have exceeded even Master Rumplestiltskin's expectations. That is why I'm offering you a boon. You will have a surprise in the next several days. I won't tell you what it is, but I expect you to be on your best behavior."

Does this mean I get to see my grandfather again? Or do I get to take Rocinante on that long ride out to Butterfly Hill for an overnight stay that she never let me do before? What else could it be? My father and Rocinante are here, Emma is here, _Mama_ is here. I can't think of anything else that would be a boon offered to me.

"Thank you, Mama. Even if I don't know what it is, I thank you for this surprise. I promise I'll continue to be on my best behavior and excel at my studies."

"I expect you will." She stands then, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. "On that note, I shall leave you to prepare for bed. Emma, don't keep her up too late with the gossip of the scullery maids. Regina needs her rest to fully recover and be her very best."

"Yes, milady. As soon as her hair is dried, I'll help her change into her nightclothes and get her into her bed. I already have bed warmers in place."

"Very good." Mama moves closer to Emma and I imagine she's being subjected to the same scrutiny that Mama often held me under. "You're a good girl, Emma of Swanbrooke, and you are doing well in your duties here. I'm sure your family will be pleased with another update, don't you?"

"Yes, Lady Cora, thank you."

The rustling of her dress is the only indication I have of Mama's nod at Emma's response. She touches the top of my head briefly, then walks toward the door. "Good night, my love. Rest well and I'll see you at breakfast in the morning."

"Good night, Mama. I love you."

The only answer I get is the closing of the door behind her. I sigh softly, but don't say anything further as I feel Emma begin to braid my hair for bed. The gentle movements of her hands in my hair, combined with the warmth from the fire, lull me into a sort of lassitude. For those few brief moments, I forget where I am.

> My surroundings blur until they take shape of my bedroom in Storybrooke, fire blazing brightly as I sit before it in my robe on the end of the chaise. I haven't had the time to lean back yet, basking in the warmth before me. The house is quiet, so Henry must be asleep already. Most likely I should be heading to bed soon myself, but not quite yet. The dip of the cushion behind me alerts me to another presence just before strong arms wrap around my waist. A halo of gold appears in my peripheral vision as a chin rests on my shoulder.
> 
> "You should be in bed," she murmurs before pressing a kiss just below my ear.
> 
> The movement sends a shiver down my spine, and I clutch at her arms around my waist. "I'm not sleepy yet. Besides, someone seems to be working to the exact opposite of that action right now."
> 
> She chuckles, a low sound that echoes in my ears and vibrates against my skin. "I never said you should be _sleeping_ in that bed, just in it. There's a difference." This time she nips lightly at my earlobe, one hand working its way out of my grasp to cup one of my breasts. That chuckle comes again as my nipple presses against her palm through the silk of my robe. "If I open this robe, am I going to find anything but sexy, naked Regina?"
> 
> A thrill shoots down my spine at the low rumble of her voice, pooling low in my belly with arousal. It takes several tries before I can get my voice to work with the words in my head. "I guess you'll have to find out for yourself, won't you?"
> 
> Her lips stretch into a smile against my skin as nimble fingers deftly part the material of my robe to cup said breast again. Her hand is warm against my skin, and I can't stop myself from arching into her touch, head leaning back on her shoulder. As her lips and tongue trace the shell of my ear, my eyes flutter shut to further enhance the sensations she's always coaxed out of me.
> 
> "That's it, highness," she murmurs, breath hot against my cheek. "Let me be your strength." Her free hand works at the knot of my belt, baring my skin to the fire and her hot gaze. "So beautiful." A blunted fingernail scrapes across my nipple, pulling a wanton whimper from my lips, my hips lifting from the cushion in search of contact. "And needy, too. Let me help you with that. We certainly can't have you feeling like this, can we?"
> 
> "Em-- _Please_." The words fall haltingly from my lips as the fingers of her right hand tease my nipple, the left hand moving lower to cup my sex. "Oh gods!"
> 
> My hips buck again, encouraging more contact with those lightly callused fingers, skin already slick with my desire. She says nothing, just continues her gentle kindling of my arousal, varying the pressure of lips, teeth, tongue, and fingers until she finally eases two fingers into me. Without thought, my muscles clench around them, trying to keep her in place. Vixen that she is, Emma doesn't let me deter her from what she wants as her fingers pick up a steady rhythm of fucking me, slow and deep enough to drag a fingertip across the sensitive ridges of my g-spot at random intervals.
> 
> "That's my girl." Her whispered words sound as loud in my ears as my own whimpered pleas for more, for release, for whatever she'll let me have. "I love it when you get this worked up. You want to come for me, don't you?" She chuckles darkly when I jerk my head in some semblance of assent, pressing her thumb roughly against my clit as both fingers drag heavily against my g-spot. "Come for me, Regina. Let me have it all."
> 
> White hot flames lick along all of my nerves at her low, possessive tone, and I tumble headlong into oblivion with a loud cry of her name.

"Regina?" Emma's voice is soft and worried, pulling me from the fantasy rather abruptly. "Princess, are you all right?"

I can feel the desire still thrumming through my body and dumbly nod at her, unable to speak for a moment or two. Her hand rests on my shoulder, cool against my feverish skin. I want it pressed elsewhere right now, but that's just not possible in this place, is it?

"I-I'm fine, Emma," I finally say. "Perhaps I'm too close to the fire at the present moment."

"Let me get your nightgown, then you can get into your bed. I think it should be warmed up enough for you."

She steps away and I feel the loss of her touch keenly. Within a moment or two, she returns to set a simple nightgown on the chaise next to me, but doesn't actually touch me. Which hurts, but is also good as I'm not sure I could stop myself from begging something of her that is entirely unseemly at this point in our relationship. I clear my throat and touch the gown, sensitive fingertips picking up a slight imperfection in the weave of the material.

"I'm feeling a bit hungry, Emma," I say, not even surprised by how husky my voice sounds in my own ears. "Do you mind popping down to the kitchen to get some bread and cheese? Perhaps a glass of mead to go with it?"

"Not at all, princess."

That wall is back up between us. What did I say or do to cause this? Well, besides nearly coming at the sound of her voice and the erotic daydream her touch induced.

"Thank you, Emma. And bring something for yourself if you're hungry. I noticed you weren't eating much at dinner either."

I hazard a glance at her, not surprised by the pink tinge to her cheeks or the adorable way she bites her bottom lip. She nods, still not meeting my gaze, then practically flees to the door and out of my room. I mentally count to fifty to make sure she doesn't come back, then throw open my towel to press shaking fingers against my clit. It doesn't take more than a few quick, hard strokes before an orgasm crests in this body, nearly as intense as in my little fantasy. I know her name passes my lips, but anything else is gibberish.

Another moment or two passes before I feel steady enough to stand. The water from my bath is now tepid, almost cold, against my skin, and the rough cloth sends minor tremors along my nerves as I clean up the evidence of my arousal before slipping into my nightgown. Satisfied that no one will be the wiser about my little indiscretion, I toddle off to bed on slightly shaky legs. When Emma returns with our late snack, I smile at her and beckon her to join me.

"Cook offered a few of the spice cookies to our little feast," she says as she sets the tray on my bed. "He said that it would be a sure way to get you to eat."

"Cook knows me far too well," I reply with a laugh, then shift over to pull the tray with me, leaving her a space on the bed. "I heard Master Rumplestiltskin and Daddy talking earlier about how cold it's supposed to get tonight. Your pallet won't be warm enough for you, even if you put it in front of the fire. Share my bed, Emma."

Her gaze drops to her lap instantly, hair falling down to almost hide the blush coloring her cheeks again. "Oh no, princess. I'll be fine in front of the fire. Your lady mother made sure that the maids brought the extra down comforters today."

I shake my head vehemently. "No, that's silly. This bed is more than big enough for both of us. I'll hear no further arguments on the subject. You'll share my bed tonight and every cold night. There's no reason for you to suffer just because Mama thinks that you're of a lower status than I am. I certainly don't agree with her on that topic."

"Yes, princess, as you wish," she finally says, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips when she finally meets my gaze again.

"And when we're alone, you've no need to call me princess. You can call me Regina. Now, go change into your nightgown and come back to bed, Emma. I want to hear _all_ the gossip from the scullery maids before I can even think about sleeping."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>   * _querida_ : honey/darling
> 


~3 days later ~

"Come on, Emma!" I call with a laugh. "Catch up with me or we'll never make it in time!"

"I'm not as good on a horse as you are!" she yells back, but gamely leans in over her mare's neck, heels urging for more speed.

"You're doing just fine. We're nearly there."

I slow down to let her catch up to me, not wanting any resentment on this trip of a lifetime. Leaning over, I press my cheek to Rocinante's mane, delighting in the sensation of his powerful muscles moving under me. He has been my pride and joy, my baby from the moment of his birth, and I'll never get over what I had to do to him in my past. I pray with each moment that I'm stuck in this place that my counterpart never has to do the same.

It's taken some time, but I'm finally getting used to living in the body of a teenage girl again. I don't remember being quite so hormonally charged back then, but I blame that on the clearly adult memories of lovers past. Every time I pass a mirror, my surprise causes me to stop and stare at myself again and marvel at the innocence in the dark eyes reflecting back at me.

"All right, Regina," Emma says as she catches up to me, "if we're so close, why are you stopping?"

If there was ever any curiosity about how Emma looked when she was younger, this realm has quashed it. She is the epitome of beauty and innocence, particularly at this moment. There's a delightful rosy color to her cheeks, some combination of the brisk temperature and the exertion of our ride. I want to press kisses to them, adding to the color, but I simply smirk at her and press my thighs slightly against Rocinante's sides. "Come on, we can go a little slower now. We're quite close and I think we'll be able to make it before it's too late."

"What? You made me race as if hellhounds were following me just to tell me we're now almost there?" She leans over to slap at my arm as our horses walk side by side. "That was rather mean!"

"It got you to keep up with me, didn't it?" My smirk grows into a full-blown smile at her snort of indignation, which is quickly followed by a similar sound from her mare. "Besides, I wasn't sure we'd actually make it in time. Now I can see that we will."

Before I can continue, we crest the ridge to stop at the edge of a little meadow surrounded by ancient trees on three sides. The fourth ends in a cliff that overlooks a valley with a stream running through it. Emma gasps softly at the sight, reining in her horse without conscious thought.

"Is _this_ what you wanted to show me?"

"It'll be even more impressive when the sun is fully set," I reply as I dismount and lead Rocinante to a nearby tree that bears an oft-used fire pit beneath it. Emma follows my lead as I remove tack and saddlebags, letting the horses roam free to graze. "I think this will be a good spot for our camp. I've used it before with Daddy."

She nods, still in awe of the location. "If this is what it looks like as winter is approaching, I can't begin to fathom how it looks in the height of spring or summer."

"It's beautiful. There are herds of deer that use this entire area as their home. Seeing the fawns in spring is as awe-inspiring as seeing a unicorn."

"Unicorns are here?"

I shake my head as I step to the middle of the meadow. "No, not in several generations from what Daddy told me. But I always hope that I'll see one when I come here." Going quiet, I close my eyes and summon up the magic of the earth spirits here, the connection a soothing balm to my nerves. In no time, I achieve communion with them and set the wards to protect us. It was the only way Mama would allow us to take this trip alone. Protection of the Crown Princess is quite high, especially when she's not within range of the two most powerful magic users she knows. With a soft sigh, I open my eyes again and smile at the faint shimmering of the protective dome around the entire meadow. "We'll be safe now. The horses can't leave the dome, but the local fauna can come in if they're not in predation mode."

Emma smiles at that, and I can see her shoulders lose some of their tension. "And there's enough wood within the dome for us to have a good fire all night?"

"If not, I'll use magic to keep the fire going. The dome will help to keep us a bit warmer than the rest of the area."

"What of other people?"

"I've set the protections to only allow my parents and Master Rumplestiltskin into the dome. Anyone else will be refused entrance until I allow them in or break the dome permanently. We'll be safe."

Without thought, Emma begins to set out our bedrolls around the fire pit. She works quietly for a few moments as I search for firewood and check on the horses again. Pleased with the multiple armloads of wood I've found, I lean back against the tree for a moment as Emma starts the fire. My eyes drift closed as I let the peacefulness of the meadow settle over me. So many good memories of this place vie for my attention.

"Um, Regina?" Her voice is soft but unhindered by worry. "Don't move, but just open your eyes."

Curious, I do as she asks, sensing no threat to our safety. A broad smile lights up my face as I see them. Just at the edge of the dome are a hind and her fawn. The fawn is growing into its winter coat and a bit gangly as it sticks close to its mother. 

"Oh, I hadn't expected to actually see them tonight. They must have good foraging here in the meadow. If they feel safe enough, they'll come in." I stand slowly and offer her a hand up. "Just ignore them as much as you can and they may join us. Even if they don't, I have something I want to show you."

She stands and follows me, not dropping the contact of our hands. That warms my heart in ways I can't even begin to explain. As I stop at the edge of the cliff, she gasps softly at the sight before us. The valley is clearly in the decline of its summer beauty, leaves strewn over the ground and floating lazily in the stream as it makes its way toward Crescent Lake in the southwest. The sun is just starting to set as we stand there, the soft sounds of nature surrounding us in a cocoon of beauty and serenity. The breeze toys with strands of gold that escaped Emma's braid as we rode out here, and I can't stop myself from tucking one behind her ear. She turns a shy smile on me before stepping closer to let me pull her into a gentle embrace, her head resting on my shoulder.

"It's so peaceful here," she finally whispers, the words so soft that I almost think that I imagined them. She presses her lips to my cheek briefly before returning her head to my shoulder to watch as the sky turns into a blend of reds and purples chasing the decreasing golden disk of the sun. "Thank you for sharing this with me, Regina."

"You're welcome, Emma. I've only ever come here to stay the night before with Daddy or some of the guards. I brought my extended cousin Abigail for afternoon picnics in the summer months when her father would visit with Grandfather, but this is my first time being here unsupervised like this. I thought you might like to see it."

She lifts her head to meet my gaze. "You chose _me_ to be your companion instead of your father?"

"Of course, I did. He's been here with me many times over my lifetime. I wanted to share this special trip with someone equally special." I can see her cheeks flush a deep rosy pink even in the diminishing light. "I've not been out here in many months now and I know I haven't brought you out, so you were my first and only choice, Emma."

When Mama first suggested the offer, I _had_ immediately thought of her, but found myself questioning Daddy in a roundabout fashion as to my forays out here to Firefly Hill. He willingly divulged said habits and the fact that Emma has never been invited before. His gentle, knowing smile when I decided to ask her may have fooled my younger self, but I know when he knows something's happening that he approves of.

"Thank you, Regina." She's become more comfortable using my given name when we're alone. The one time she slipped up in front of Mama, she was able to cover it with a cough and my title. "You've been so kind to me this past year that I've been fostered here at the manor."

"I was supposed to be fostered in my cousin Abigail's court, but Mama refused to let Grandfather send me. I was upset for a time, but now I'm glad because it means I got to meet you."

Dear gods, if I'm making things worse for my counterpart upon her return to this life, I will pay whatever penance is necessary. But I don't think I am, not if Emma's current behavior is any indication of what the last year has been like for them.

"When my parents told me where I'd be fostered for learning, I was terrified," she says with a sheepish smile. "Lady Cora is known far and wide for being very _particular_ about what happens in her manor. And that was before we learned that you would become Crown Princess on your day of majority."

I don't have an automatic answer for her, fascinated by the play of emotions across her face. The fading sunlight turns the green of her eyes a deeper olive color that makes the brown flecks deepest cinnamon, the gold molten, and the blue a summer sky at midday. Before I realize what's happening, she tilts her head slightly to press her lips to mine in a brief, chaste kiss. It's over so quickly, but the sensation of those soft, dry lips against mine overwhelms me until I can do nothing but return the sentiment. It lasts a little longer this time, my hands moving to cup her face, and I fight a lifetime of instinct to push for more, to take control of the advantage, because that is most assuredly _not_ what this is about.

"Oh my," she whispers when we pull apart what feels like an eternity later, and I rest my forehead against hers. "Regina?"

"Hmm?"

"Look."

I frown, unwilling to open my eyes and ruin this moment. "Did the hind and her fawn join us?"

"No… J-Just please open your eyes?"

Unable to ignore the odd timbre of her voice, I open my eyes and gasp. We're surrounded by more fireflies than I've ever seen in my entire lifetime. Even more surprising, we are also floating a foot off the ground.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting _that_ to happen upon kissing you," I murmur, nonplussed, as we slowly return to the earth again. The fireflies don't leave either. They just mill about us. "This is…"

"This isn't your magic, is it?" Her question is hesitant, and I can read the confusion clearly on her face.

"Not intentionally, no." And then my stomach growls loudly, causing a nervous giggle to burst past her lips. That sound scatters the fireflies, and breaks the intensity of the moment. "I guess this is a good time for us to eat and maybe talk?"

*****

When dawn breaks the next morning, I find myself in a quandary about what to do. I want to get up to greet the sun like I always have when spending the night here. But I also want to stay put until Emma wakes up. We talked late into the night before combining our bedrolls to sleep cuddled in each other's arms for warmth and comfort. We have to be so very careful at this point. My eighteenth birthday is only two months hence and I'll be installed as Crown Princess to the kingdom of Macieira, successor to my grandfather. Once that happens, I'll have more sway over things, both because I'll be of age and because I'll officially be inheriting the kingdom from Grandfather. Mama won't be able to control me then, not like she does now. If she suspects anything beyond princess and lady-in-waiting between Emma and me before then, it could be disastrous for both of us.

Shaking my head, I bury my nose in Emma's hair, doing my best to extend this lovely morning. She presses her back into my chest, tightening her grip on my arm around her waist. I could _definitely_ get used to this. If I'm stuck in this strange version of my life as it might have been for the rest of my life, I'll take it if it means I can be with Emma. She'll reach her age of majority just a few months after I will. As soon as I'm able, I'll tell Grandfather that she will be coming with me to Macieira as first among my ladies-in-waiting. I don't think he'll deny my request. I make so few of them as it is.

"Morning," she mumbles as she shifts to stretch.

"Good morning, _querida_ ," I reply, the word out of my mouth before I realize I've said it. I've never been allowed to truly speak Macieiran, but Daddy's term of endearment for me seems appropriate for Emma. I suppose this means that Emma will need lessons in the language of my new kingdom, too. "Did you sleep all right?"

She nods and sits up to smile down at me. Her hair is tousled and brighter from the dawn's rays. "How long until we have to leave?"

"Mama wanted us back by lunch, so we'll probably need to leave soon. I don't intend to return at the same breakneck pace we employed to get here." How do I voice that I never want to leave this place now that it has such a special significance?

"But we can come back again, right? Even if just for a simple picnic one afternoon?"

I nod, smiling broadly at her as we stand and begin to repack our bedrolls. "I'll make sure it happens. That means we both need to be especially good with our lessons and duties. Mama's more inclined to rewards then."

*****

The ride back to the manor is leisurely, but not too slow. We take the time to savor this new page in our relationship, but also work to remember how to act when we return. By the time I can see the manor in the distance, she has begun calling me by my title again, a distinct shift to her demeanor meant for public eyes and ears. It hurts to have to hide this budding development, but the risks of detection are too great for both of us.

We ride into the courtyard and I can see a carriage being divested of luggage, as well as a dozen of the pale horses that I usually associate with--

"Regina!"

That delighted squeal can only belong to one person. I practically fly off my horse, arms outstretched, as a blonde and white blur races toward me.

"Abigail!" We meet in a tight embrace as I hear one of the stable hands taking Rocinante's reins. "What are you doing here?"

"Father told me that it was your mother's idea that I come see you before your birthday. She thought you could use a friendly face as it gets closer to your coming of age."

I pull back from the embrace and turn with a preternatural awareness to see Emma dismounting from her mare. There's a tight smile on her face that I want to erase. "Emma, come meet my cousin." She comes closer and I shift to take each of their hands in mine. "Emma, this is my cousin, Abigail, daughter of King Midas. Abigail, this is Emma of Swanbrooke. She's fostered here as she learns to be my lady-in-waiting."

Abigail extends her hand to Emma, ever so much more comfortable with being a proper royal than I'll ever be. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Emma. My cousin has told me of your fostering in her letters."

"Thank you, Princess Abigail," Emma replies demurely as she curtsies deeply. "The honor is mine."

Tugging gently at their joined hands, Abigail grins. "You've no need to be so formal with me. Please call me Abigail. Well, unless Regina's mother is around. She _is_ a stickler for the rules."

A relieved smile breaks across Emma's face, and I can already tell they'll be fast friends before Abigail's visit is over. I can't help but mirror her smile, flushing hotly when Abigail gives me a pointed look complete with a raised eyebrow. My eagle-eyed cousin rarely misses anything. Emma and I will need to be extra careful. Not that Abigail will tell anyone, but discretion is always the better part of valor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>   * _querida_ : honey/darling
>   * _minha filha_ : my daughter
> 


~two months later~

I've now been living this life for nearly two and a half months. I don't know that I'm ever going to return to Storybrooke and my family there. I have fallen completely into this life at the manor with Mama and Daddy and Emma. Since the night I first asked her, Emma and I have shared my bed. Just cuddling in each other's arms, of course. I've never slept better in my entire life, to be completely honest. I am finally willing to give myself over to this life and accept that this is my lot now.

"Regina?" That softly commanding voice pulls me from my thoughts. "May I come in, _minha filha_?"

Emma squeezes my hand, then goes to the open the door to admit my grandfather. Even at eighty-five years of age, he is a ruggedly handsome man. There are threads of silver throughout his hair, but mostly centered at his temples. They complement the crow's feet bracketing eyes a darker shade of burnt cinnamon than my own, as well as highlight the crystals sewn into his cream surcoat. When he offers an unfettered smile, as he's doing right now, it lights up his eyes.

"Hello, Grandfather," I say softly, fighting the urge to fidget with my hair or gown.

He walks closer and presses a kiss to my forehead. "You look beautiful, Regina. I can see your mother and your grandmother in you." He chuckles when I blush at the compliment. "It's true, _minha filha_. Your grandmother would be so happy to see you taking your place as the next in line to the family throne. In fact," he says, pulling a small wooden box from the satchel at his side, "she would want you to wear this." Opening it, he reveals a beautiful necklace of rubies and diamonds that takes my breath away.

"Oh… Grandfather, it's beautiful."

He plucks it from the box, which Emma then takes from his outstretched hand, before moving behind me to clasp it around my neck. He then turns us to face the looking glass and I blink at what I see. Whereas Grandfather wears a surcoat of cream damask silk decorated with crystals and threads of gold over a blood red tunic, my dress is silk damask of the same red color decorated in gold and cream threads over an underskirt of cream. The neckline ends in off-the-shoulder cap sleeves over a pair of long cream gloves. Hundreds of tiny crystals were hand sewn onto the neckline, bodice, and front panels of the outer skirt. The necklace of rubies and diamonds calls attention to the long column of my throat, courtesy of my hair swept up in an elegant twist that will allow for the dainty silver diadem to rest on my head.

" _You_ are beautiful, Regina, and you make me proud to be your grandfather today." He gently squeezes my shoulders. "I'll leave you to finish getting ready, but I want you to know that what you are doing today is a very important thing. I am proud of you for accepting the responsibility that will come with inheriting the crown that rests on my own head. It is a heavy burden, but you have a kind and generous soul, and I know the citizens of Macieira will love you very much when you become their queen officially."

"Thank you, Grandfather. I promise I'll do my best to reign over this kingdom as you and my ancestors have."

"That is all anyone can ask of a ruler."

*****

"By the grace of the Lady Mother and Her blessed son, the Light of the world, I hereby proclaim that Regina Neves is the rightful, chosen heir to the crown of Macieira and all of its attendant rights and responsibilities upon the occasion that King Xavier can or will no longer fulfill his duties to his people."

As the priest's words fade away and the holy water dries against my forehead and chest, Aunt Amélia's voice lifts in praise to the gods of my ancestors, the still-foreign Macieiran words wrapping around my soul like a blanket. I never really practiced the faith much. Mama wouldn't allow it and, when she was gone, the evil had taken hold of me, making it uncomfortable for me to even consider that sort of belief as possible. I've learned these past two months that Mama has allowed tenuous contact with the beliefs Daddy grew up with, but it's still all so confusing to me. And yet, my long talks with Aunt Amélia have gotten me even more curious about it. If I truly am in this realm for the rest of my life, I will explore my spirituality and do my damnedest to keep my heart pure from this point forward. For Emma, for Henry, and especially for me. I deserve to have something good in my life for once without fearing about it being taken away.

Daddy steps forward, looking resplendent in his cream tunic and trousers, bearing the pillow with my diadem in surprisingly steady hands. The priest blesses it with water and smoke before Grandfather lifts it in his hands. I kneel once again as he turns to set it on my head, but he pauses and holds it out to Daddy, who stares at him in confused silence. Grandfather smiles and nods, which causes a broad smile to light up Daddy's face like it has so few times in my remembered past. Passing off the pillow to Uncle Samuel, Daddy takes the crown and steps forward to rest it against my hair, then leans in to press a gentle kiss to my temple.

"Arise, my daughter," he says as he straightens again, tears sparkling in his eyes, "and take your rightful place at the King's right as his successor to the throne of Macieira."

Taking the hands offered by both Daddy and Grandfather, I stand once more to the sound of rousing cheers from those attending the ceremony. Already I can feel the weight of the crown's responsibility, having worn one before in what now feels like another lifetime, but I glance up at the dove of peace and vow never to let the darkness take hold of me again.

"Citizens of Macieira," Grandfather's voice rises above the crowd, "welcome your Crown Princess, Regina."

As the cheering grows even louder, I search the throngs packing the cathedral until I find mossy eyes that are glassy with tears. Her smile is even wider as she registers my attention and she touches the hair at her temple, the only public sign of affection we've shown one another since our night together at Firefly Hill. Without thought, I reach up to echo the gesture, morphing it into a fumbled attempt to touch the diadem on my head at the last second. She will keep me sane and whole through this, as she has so far. I have no fear of that changing.

*****

"There you are, _minha filha_. I've been looking all over for you." At the sound of his voice, I automatically stand to curtsey. "Please, Regina, you've no need to make obeisance to me. We're family."

Straightening, I curse myself for doing to my grandfather exactly what I told Emma not to do to me months ago. "My apologies, Grandfather. I'm still having some difficulties in some of the intricacies of the royal court. I promise to do better."

He smiles gently and motions to the bench I've been sitting on. I wait to sit until he does, Mama's lessons in etiquette still an automatic response. "You look tired, Regina. Have you had anything to eat recently?"

"I-- I haven't been very hungry, I suppose, Grandfather," I say softly. "There have been so many people to speak with… I just need a bit of fresh air and then I can return to the party."

"Regina?" he asks, cupping my cheek in one hand. "Right now, there are no titles or responsibilities between us, nor are there any guards standing at a discreet distance if we should need them. We are just a man and his granddaughter. Tell me truly how you're feeling."

For a long moment, I can say nothing as I meet his gaze openly. This man in front of me is not the ruthless king who whored out his youngest son to the highest bidder to keep his kingdom out of poverty. This man is not the cold, unfeeling monarch who had no love to spare for his third son who wanted nothing to do with courtly intrigues. This is the man who held me after Davi's funeral as I wept for the loss of a cousin I looked up to, the man who explained that Davi wouldn't be afraid of the dark anymore. This is the man who fought with my mother over whether or not I would be raised with the familial beliefs and customs. This man's eyes offer solace with the implicit protection that only a king can offer his family.

"I'm tired, Grandfather, and I'm afraid." Tears fill my eyes as I voice my concerns. "What if I can't do this? What if I cause more issues for the kingdom by my ineptitude at handling all things royal?"

That hand cupping my cheek slides back to curve around the base of my skull, pulling my head forward until I rest my cheek over his heart. "Listen to me, _querida_ , and remember my words. You will not be alone in ruling this kingdom. You will sit at my side and learn the rules of state, just as your uncles and father once did. You will have their guidance, as well as that of the others you add to your privy council. Yes, the final decision and all repercussions will weigh heavily on you, but you will never truly be alone. And when you marry, you will have the love and support of your royal spouse."

"Grandfather? May I ask a boon of you? Not as my grandfather, but as the king?"

"You may ask anything of me, Regina, and I will do all I can to grant it if it's in my power to do so."

"I wish for Emma of Swanbrooke to stay here with me," I say, the words rushing out, "a-as my lady-in-waiting."

"As your lady-in-waiting or as the future Princess Consort of Macieira?"

Shocked, I scramble to my feet to begin pacing nervously. "I-- Grandfather, I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do, Regina. I've watched the two of you. You _are_ very good at hiding your feelings when in public, but I have seen you when you rightly thought you were alone with her. Is she the person you wish to rule at your side? Be honest with me, Regina."

"My feelings don't matter. What matters is producing heirs to inherit the throne after me, to continue the family lineage. A marriage of state is required and, if I am lucky, I'll come to accept the husband I am given."

"Regina…" Standing, he moves into my path and gently grips my hands in his. "Above all else, a monarch must be honest with herself. Even if she is going to do something dishonest toward others, she must be honest with herself as to _why_ she's going to do it. So I will ask you one more time and before you speak, I want you to truly consider your answer and how honest you are with yourself. Do you wish for Emma of Swanbrooke to become your Princess Consort?"

"More than anything." The words are spoken before they fully register in my brain, and I'm rocked to my very foundation at the vehemence with which they're given. The very thought of losing Emma's sweet innocence and devotion is a physical blow. I already almost lost Henry's mother in Storybrooke how many times? I'll never get back to that family, which is bad enough to consider, but to lose my Emma here? No, I won't survive that. "There is no one else that bothers to look beyond the titles and the power to see _me_. I would sooner die than lose her, Grandfather."

It feels like an eternity, but likely is only a moment or two before he speaks. The weight of his scrutiny is palpable and I fight the desire to flee, closing my eyes to stave off fruitless tears. And then he squeezes my hands until I meet his gaze again. This face is the one that Daddy talked about being terrified of as a small boy, the unrelenting king ruling on high.

"When does Emma reach her age of majority?" My mouth opens and closes several times, but words simply won't come forth. He cups my cheek again and smiles, eyes crinkling with amusement. "Regina, _querida_ , when is her birthday?"

"Th-three months hence."

"Good. That means we have time to prepare for the formal announcement of the engagement."

"Wha--"

He continues to speak as if not hearing me, "And we will make sure that she is seen with you at any public functions you attend, including those times that you hold court with me. I may not be able to allow her into the council meetings until after the engagement, or possibly the wedding, but in all other matters of state, she shall be at your side."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The basis for Regina's gown for the Naming Ceremony**  
>  [screencaps from from [Screencapped.net](http://screencapped.net)]
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://imgur.com/XeMOnT6)  
> [](http://imgur.com/P6Vcd9R)  
>   
> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>   * _querida_ : honey/darling
>   * _amo-te_ : I love you
> 


~3 months later~

"Regina?"

Glancing up from the book I'm reading, I smile broadly at the sight of Uncle Adrian ambling toward me. He still has such sadness clinging to him like a shadow, but there is a kernel of lightness that is trying to work its way out. I remember that feeling once upon a time and do everything I can to encourage its growth. As I set my book aside to stand, he shakes his head and drops onto the bench next to me.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

"No, I'm just reading a collection of treatises that Aunt Amélia sent me. She is very pleased that I've taken to the history of Order of the Light, even if I still struggle with the spirituality of it."

He chuckles at that. "You sound like I did as a child when your grandmother tried to get me to say my prayers at night. I was something of a willful child, or so I'm told." I join in his laughter, truly happy to see him breaking free, even momentarily, from the shackle of grief. All too soon the levity passes and he begins to look like Grandfather in his seriousness. "Where is your lady friend today?"

"Grandfather is quizzing her on some of the protocols of inter-kingdom relations." I wink at him, hoping to see him smile again. "I think he believes her to be the better diplomat between us."

"That is entirely possible, though I think he wants her to succeed as much as you do. She'll have to prove herself even more than you will. You are of the royal blood of Macieira, she isn't." He smiles then, squeezing my hand gently. "But enough of that for now. There is something I'd like to discuss with you and Emma's absence makes it easier."

"Oh? And what might that be, Uncle?" My words are light, but my heart squeezes painfully.

He reaches into his pocket and places a small wooden box in my hand, curling my fingers around it before he wraps his own hands around mine. "I know you didn't know your grandmother at all, but she and Father had a love that defies time and space. When I was to wed Kathryn, it was a marriage to unite our kingdom with Midas'. I wasn't sure what would happen, but I quickly came to love her like no other. Like my parents loved each other. Before the betrothal was made official, Mother came to me with this and said that only a love as strong as what she could sense growing between me and Kathryn deserved such a symbol. Kathryn wore this until the day she--" He coughs and blinks several times before he can speak again. "Until the day she left on that fateful trip. She gave it to me for safekeeping, said she had a premonition that it needed to stay here in the castle. The brigands had stripped all valuables from the carriage. She wanted it kept in the family because of its history. And now it's time to pass it along to you as the next generation of the family grows."

"Uncle, I don't understand."

"Open it," is all he says with a smile, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

I do as he asks, gasping softly as I see the ring within the box. At the center of the silver band rests a great heart-shaped ruby surrounded on either side by three smaller rubies, all in the same deep color as the kingdom's standard and my own gown of three months ago. My finger trembles as I touch it.

"This was Grandmother's ring and Aunt Kathryn's?" I look at him, really study his face. "Are you _sure_ you want me to give this to Emma? This should be with you, Uncle."

"No, Regina, it needs to be part of the great love that has already begun between you and Emma. More than anything, love is what keeps this family going. And so the ring shall be passed on to the next generation and so forth. _Querida_ , I want you to have it. It would bring me some small sense of happiness to see you slip this on Emma's finger at your betrothal."

*****

~six months later~

"In the sight of the Light of the world and His Lady Mother, I, Regina Esther, pledge thee my troth with all my heart and all of my soul. From this day forth, you are a part of me, and I am a part of you. We are an unending circle of love, symbolized in this band of silver on your finger. If you should ever have need of sustenance, shelter, protection, or love, let me lessen your burden so long as there is breath left in me. This I so swear to you."

The plain silver band slips onto her finger easily, pressing tightly to the engagement ring as if they were two halves of a whole, much like my own heart and soul feel complete when she is with me. Raising my eyes, I'm stunned by the golden light surrounding her, a halo of love and beauty. The sight of it makes my heart skip a beat. This beautiful creature is my wife, or will be as soon as the priest solemnizes our union. I will never feel less than complete again.

She licks her lips nervously and repeats the words as she presses a similar silver band on my finger. There are more words said by the priest as he bears witness to our joining as the representative of the Light of the world and His Lady Mother, but I can only hear the pounding of my heart. Clammy hands wrap around ours as the priest offers the final prayer.

"And now, by the grace of the Light of the world, I do hereby declare Regina and Emma joined in the most sacred of all unions. Princess Regina, you may offer your bride the first kiss of marriage."

We lean in together as one, drawn to the love we share. There's a soft gasp as our lips touch, but I have no idea which of us makes it, nor do I care. My eyes flutter shut to savor the freedom of being able to kiss my love in front of others without any fear or recriminations. I want more kisses, but they will have to wait until we are able to retire to our bridal chambers. For now, there are other matters to attend to.

"I love you, Regina," she whispers as our lips part.

" _Amo-te, querida_ ," I reply just as softly, a bubble of pure joy threatening to burst out in a fit of giggles.

Grandfather steps up and rests his hands on our still-joined ones as the priest moves to the side. "It is with great pride that I also bless this union. Not only is my beloved granddaughter united with her love, I am gaining a smart, beautiful granddaughter in Emma, formerly of Swanbrooke." He nods his head to someone behind me, and I'm not surprised to see Daddy step up to him with a familiar pillow in his hands. Grandfather lifts up the delicate circlet and places it on Emma's head, then turns us toward the assemblage as his hands rest on our shoulders. "Assembled guests, please join me in blessing the marriage of Crown Princess Regina and Princess Consort Emma."

The thunderous cries that rise at his words wash over me and I squeeze Emma's hand more tightly, not wanting to lose her in the throngs as we try to exit the cathedral.

*****

~2 years later~

"I can't do this!"

I laugh softly and press a kiss to her damp forehead. "It's a little late now to change your mind, _querida_. I did offer to do this, but you were insistent that it be y--" Her fingers tighten in my hair, pulling several loose in the process, but it doesn't stop me from kissing her forehead again. " _Amo-te_ ," I whisper, "and don't you ever forget it."

The midwife coughs, but I still manage to hear the chuckle it's meant to cover. "Come now, Princess Emma, you can do this. The babe is anxious to be born."

"If the babe is so anxious, why is it taking so long?" Emma growls before letting out a pained cry.

"Babies come in their own time, Your Highness," is the only reply she gets.

I carefully disentangle her fingers from my hair, then shift to sit between the head of the bed and Emma. "Lean back on me, Emma. Take your rest where you can get it. The babe will come when the babe wants to come. And you will have his or her entire lifetime to garner sympathy from the hours of agony you are suffering now to bring said child into the world."

"You're n-not helping," she wails, but there's an undercurrent of laughter in her tone.

Emma slumps back against me and my lips find her temple to press a gentle kiss there, my hand rubbing her distended belly. Her eyes flutter shut and she turns her head to nuzzle into the crook of my neck. I can feel the muscles in her stomach ease minimally, the lull between contractions.

"All right, Your Highness, up to your feet again. The wee babe is not quite ready to make an entrance yet."

"There's nothing _wee_ about the babe."

"Come on, Emma. We'll do another round or two of the room. If the baby takes much longer, maybe we can saddle up the horses and race out the Firefly Hill for a picnic before he or she chooses to join us."

I get out of the bed and offer both hands to help my wife to her feet. Still holding her hands, I begin to walk backwards, letting her shuffle along with me, pausing only to let her lean heavily against me with each successive contraction. Tears spill down her cheeks and I curse the fact that I cannot alleviate this pain for h… Yes, I can.

"Mother Gertrude?"

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"Would it be at all possible to offer some alleviation of Emma's pain with my healing magic?"

Emma's head snaps up so fast, she nearly catches me in the jaw. "You can _do_ that? Oh gods, Regina, please! I'll do anything you want if you'll just make it stop hurting."

The midwife chuckles and toddles over to us, one hand grabbing mine to rest it on Emma's stomach. She hums softly, eyes moving back and forth between us, then nods. "A small amount will allow some reprieve to your lady wife, but no more than that. If she doesn't have the pains, we won't know the babe is coming until it lands on its head on the flagstones."

Emma lets out a soft sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, but I press a gentle kiss to her lips. "I won't let anything happen to our child, _querida_. You have my promise on that."

"All right, Your Highness, let your healing magic flow into her belly, but stop when I tell you."

I follow her orders, watching Emma's face the whole time. The relief is palpable, allowing some color back in her cheeks. After a moment or two, we start walking around the room again until the midwife determines it's time for Emma to be in the bed again. This time, the contractions and the baby work in tandem and I can feel Emma getting as excited as I am to be holding the product of our love.

"That's it, Your Highness, just one more push and your babe will be in your arms."

Emma lets out a cry with the effort of pushing out the baby, then sags back against me as we both hear a loud, startled wail. Our child.

"You did it, Emma. Our baby is here. Mother Gertrude?"

"Let me hold my baby!" Emma says, reaching for the source of the wailing.

"Congratulations, Your Highness, it's a--"

And everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://imgur.com/RWhW8Cf)  
> 


	7. Chapter 7

"Regina?"

My entire body aches like I've been slammed against something hard. Like the ground.

"Regina?"

I groan softly, feeling the ground lurch beneath me. And then hands are touching me gently: testing my limbs for breaks… Oh my god! Not again!

Frowning, I try to remember how I ended up on the ground. Mother Gertrude was just going to tell us what sex the baby was when everything went black.

"Regina?"

I know that voice. Even through the hysteria bubbling at the edge of that repetition of my name, I know that voice. I need to assure her that I'm okay. Right now she and the baby are important. It takes a moment, but I open my eyes to a blurry halo of gold. But we're not in our bedchambers in Macieira and she's not the young princess I married two years ago, nor is there a newborn child borne of our love. And… Henry? What in the hell is going on here?

"Emma?"

"What happened?" Emma asks as she and Henry help me to my feet, supporting me when I wobble slightly. "Are you okay?"

No, I'm not. Over two years of my life have been ripped away from me. My gods, is this how it felt for everyone when Emma broke the curse? When they all regained their memories? No wonder they've hated me for so long. And I deserved it.

"Y-Yes, I'm fine," I finally say, feeling the weight of all of their stares on me, as well as the painful loss of a life that I had come to love. "It was just--"

"What is it?" Snow. Of course, she has to interrupt me. I certainly didn't miss her in that other land. "What happened when you touched it?"

I saw my happy ending. I saw what could have been. I saw…

_When you find the answer you seek…  
_  
"I saw what needed to be done."

"Mom, are you gonna be okay?"

The fear is palpable in Henry's voice, in the way he clutches my arm just a little too tightly. I remember when he was a little boy and would become frightened, he did the same thing. I often had bruises after his darker nightmares would surface. I try to smile and offer him encouragement, the chatter among the forces of good a background of white noise as my gaze is torn between my son and his other mother.

"Regina?"

Frowning, I glance up to see worry on all their faces. "What?"

"We can still stop it, right?" Ever the optimist, David. It's clear now where Emma and Henry both inherited that from.

"Yes," I reply, eyes going back to Emma. I just want to drink in her presence, even if she's not my sweet bride. "Yes."

A frown mars the smooth planes of her face as she tilts her head to study me, hands digging into her pockets again. "Wh-What's the price? Gold said that there was a price. What is that price?"

_When you find the answer you seek…  
_  
"It's not _our_ price, _que_ \--." I barely stop myself from the term of endearment I'd grown so used to saying in that other land. "It's mine."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's…" I take a deep breath and try again. "It's what I felt when I first held the scroll again." My eyes stray to Henry this time, and I can feel it when Emma begins to catch up.

"Henry?"

I shake my head slightly, not wanting to frighten our son. Did my Emma have a son? Did our love produce a prince or a princess? I will never know now. Damn my timing! I smile briefly, knowing it doesn't quite reach my eyes, but I want to reassure both of them.

"I have to undo what I started."

Emma opens her mouth, but the voice isn't hers. "The curse that brought us to Storybrooke."

"That _created_ Storybrooke," I say, correcting Snow's inaccurate assumptions yet again. "By all rights, it doesn't belong here, and neither do any of us. Except for Henry. He was born here, outside of the curse's purview."

Emma is staring more intently at me now. I don't know what is going through her head, and I'm not entirely sure I _want_ to. Perhaps her superpower has finally kicked in. I don't know.

"Breaking the curse destroys the town." Charming's _almost_ got it.

"So…" Once again, Emma's expression telegraphs the inner workings of her mind. "We go back to the Enchanted Forest?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"If I do what has to be done, if I make the choice to do _precisely_ what needs to be done, the home we once had will no longer be accessible. Not by the well, not by magic beans, not by pixie dust. Whether or not it still exists, I have no idea, but we'll never have the chance to go back there again."

And I'll never see my sweet young bride again. Never watch our newborn child grow into adulthood. Never teach my child how to rule Macieira or watch as he or she takes that mantle of responsibility from me. Never watch my wife pass on the ruby engagement ring to our child to ensure that the next generation of Macieiran royalty is ushered in with love and respect. That life will be gone to me, except in the deepest of dreams. Or perhaps they'll be nightmares. Never having access to one's loved ones isn't the stuff of happy dreams, is it?

"No," Emma says. "No, I don't accept that. We can figure out some way to break Pan's curse and allow everyone the opportunity to go back there if they want to. I'm the Savior! I have magic--"

I cut in smoothly, silencing her before she can wind up into one of her righteous speeches. "You are the Savior, yes, and you have a part in this. You were created to break my original curse. And once again, you're going to escape the worst of the fallout. But the full brunt of breaking Pan's curse, reversing whatever it is that he's put into motion? That falls on me. No matter what the outcome, Emma, you will escape it, you and Henry. The Enchanted Forest is nothing but fairytales and danger to you. It's not your home."

"I don't understand." The hard edge in her eyes belies her words.

"Yes, you do," I say softly as I take a step closer. "You lose nothing, Emma, but you stand to gain so much. Are you willing to take the leap of faith to get it?"

She goes quiet for a long moment, hands shifting to her back pockets, and I instantly recognize the need for some sort of familiarity in the face of this new information. Her eyes drop to the ground, hair a curtain separating her face from mine. I don't like that I can't get any sense of what's going on in her head right now. That preternatural awareness had grown very strong with my sweet bride, and I now feel its loss keenly. She tilts her head to the side again, allowing me a brief glimpse into eyes gone dark with perceived realization and burden.

"Can--" She pauses and sighs, scrubbing at her face before meeting my gaze a bit more openly. "Can we talk somewhere private? Do we even have the time for that?"

Still clutching the scroll tightly in my fist, I cast out to sense where Pan and his son are. They're still otherwise occupied, though I don't know for how long. "If we're quick about it, yes." I motion for her to take the lead, then smile at Henry. "Stay here with Neal and your grandparents, okay? We'll be fine, I promise."

Only when he nods and attempts a brave smile at me do I follow Emma a handful of yards away. Belatedly, I realize we're standing directly in the spot where I'd had her car booted her first day in town. It seems oddly appropriate to be standing here, where it all began, as we now contemplate the end of life as we know it.

"So I need to know something here, Regina," she says, one hand raking through her hair. My own fingers itch with the desire to do the same. "I don't want any of your Evil Queen double talk bullshit either. Just be straight with me, okay? For Henry."

"For Henry." My lower lip trembles at the thought of losing contact with my son and this woman standing in front of me. When I fainted and went to that other realm, I knew I felt some sort of affection for this woman. It allowed me to create a life with the Emma there, a life that made me happier than I've ever felt. Now that I've lost her, I'm not sure how to deal with _this_ land's Emma. Will nothing ever be easy for me?

"Maybe if you weren't so stubborn, it would be."

Blinking, I stare at her in confusion. "Wait. What?"

"You asked why nothing's easy for you, so I answered you." She frowns. "Was I not supposed to do that?"

"No, it's not that. I didn't realize I'd given voice to my thoughts."

She nods slowly and takes a step closer, eyes darting to the huddled group still standing in the middle of the street, then smiles almost sheepishly at me. "Look, will you just be straight with me about what the hell is going on here? You're kind of freaking me out."

"I'm freaking you out?" I ask, nearly choking on the ironic laugh that bubbles past my lips. "Oh, Emma, if you only knew just what you're doing to me right now…"

"So why don't you tell me?"

Damn it! It wasn't supposed to be this way. I hazard a glance back toward Henry and his protectors, almost tempted to erect a privacy barrier for us, but I can't be separated from him if he needs me. Instead, I take a deep breath and step closer, definitely into her personal space now, offering my own sheepish smile.

"How-- Um, how long was I unconscious?"

"Not long. Sixty seconds, maybe two minutes tops. Why? You looked positively freaked when you came to again."

You have _no_ idea. And then I take a chance, just as I had when inviting my sweet bride to share my bed that second night I knew her. "I'll be honest with you, tell you anything you want to know, if you'll answer one simple question for me." When she nods, I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. "What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

"Seriously? What the hell? This is no time for games, Regina."

"I assure you, Ms. Swan, this is _no_ game. Just… Please answer the question honestly, Emma."

"I--" She trails off, shoulders slumping in that unassuming way that has always meant she's trying to protect herself. Her head tilts to the side again, eyebrows knitting together as she stares at me for a moment or two. I meet her scrutiny head on and wait as patiently as I can. "Well, besides having to probably hold off my parents from trying to kill you for doing it, you mean?" She shrugs. "I guess it depends on how you did it and why?"

Now it's my turn to frown at her in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Well... What would your motivation be?"

_When you find the answer you seek…  
_  
"The only one that matters. Protecting those that I love."

"Henry."

A sad smile tugs at my lips. "Among others."

That deepens her frown, the expression shifting into disbelief. "Oh come on, Regina! There's no one you love more than Henry. You've made that more than--"

I can't stand it any longer. Taking another step forward, I cup her cheek in one hand and press my lips to hers. Partly to shut her up, and partly because I can't bear the thought of losing my family, my home, my happiness. She stiffens initially -- who wouldn't in her place? -- but doesn't pull away. My free hand clutches the scroll tightly, the pressure leaving imprints on my palm even through my glove. Just as I'm about to pull back, thinking I've misread everything I've ever felt for her, her hands shoot up to hold me closer, one going around my waist, the other moving up to curl around the back of my neck. My gasp of surprise is enough for her to nip at my bottom lip. The sensation sends a tendril of pure desire to pool in the pit of my stomach, making me momentarily lightheaded.

"Mom?!"

The sound of Henry's voice, an odd blend of confusion, fear, and something I can't quite place, pulls me reluctantly from the kiss. Blinking once or twice, I shyly smile at Emma, who wears the most adorably blissful and confused face I've ever seen. When Henry calls my name again, I smile and wipe away a smudge of lipstick from the corner of her mouth with my thumb.

"Yes, Henry?"

"Um, what did you do?"

That gets my attention and I tear my gaze from his other mother to the boy that brought us together. In that split second, I notice the curious golden glow spreading over the town, followed quickly by the realization that--

"How are you floating a foot off the ground?"

Before I can answer, Emma's fingers tighten slightly against the back of my neck as she whispers, "You may not be strong enough, but together we are."

I'm transported back to that fateful moment in the mine. With crystal clarity, I realize I knew I loved her in that single exchange. She was willing to put aside _everything_ to save her family, which included me. And now I've just done the same. Alone, we're frail, fragile, easily broken. But together, there's no force in this world or any other that can stop us.

"The most powerful magic of all, Henry," is all I say to him.

When Snow gasps, I know she understands.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>   * _querida_ : honey/darling
>   * _amo-te_ : I love you
> 


  
_Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you.  
_ \-- Anonymous

 

~2 years later~

The sun set several hours ago, leaving all of Storybrooke cloaked in silky darkness. In the time since Emma and I sent Henry off to bed with hugs and kisses to his forehead, the snow started to fall. It's going to be an early and bitterly cold winter this year. I can feel it in my bones. Maybe that's why I'm wide awake in the witching hour, sitting bundled up against the chill as I sip chamomile tea. The new moon is in another night or two, so the pale sliver in the sky does little to illuminate my world. The stars are an infinity of diamonds twinkling through deepest velvet.

Despite the snow falling, I don't feel the need to take cover as I curl up in the swing Emma and David built in the backyard our first spring together. Emma said it was her way of making sure we could sit under my apple tree without harming the tree itself. It has become my sanctuary when I need the familiarity of my first home. Or just a little alone time. Which is apparently what tonight is about.

My dreams were disjointed tonight, and I tossed and turned until finally slipping out of bed. I told Emma that I was making a cup of tea, waited while she fell back asleep, and came out here. My dreams involved her, but she doesn't need to lose sleep to hear about them tonight. I don't hide things from her any longer, but I don't always divulge things in the moment either. Sometimes it just helps to talk it out first, rehearse it in my head.

Movement in the corner of my eye turns my gaze to the west, following the course of a shooting star. "Starlight, star bright, first falling star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight." I go silent for a moment as I make my wish, still foolishly believing that voicing the wish negates its outcome. And I want this wish to come true more than anything else in all the realms known and unknown to me.

And then I can feel her there with me, just out of my line of sight. She won't come too close, not without an invitation or a hint of danger. That thought brings a smile to my lips before I take another sip of my tea and close my eyes.

"Hello, Emma. Yes, _querida_ , I know you're there. We've become close enough during the course of our courtship that I can feel when you're near. Maybe it's something to do with my magic; maybe it's the fact that you've opened my heart to so much more love than I thought possible. You healed the hole in my heart that Rumple said could never again be filled. For that, I will be eternally grateful to you. You taught me that love can be unconditional, that love doesn't need to be equated with being perfect to avoid punishment.

"I was so afraid to love you at first, so worried that I'd lose you somehow. I kept waiting for you to decide that I really wasn't good enough for you, that my mother was right about how damaged I was for thinking of love as a strength. But you didn't do that, did you? No, my love, you accepted that I loved you, opened your own heart to let me in, and sheltered me from the raging storm of my fucked up emotions. Only a handful of other people have done that, but none quite like you did."

Emotions overwhelm me, my heart clenching painfully at just how truthful my words are. For long moments, I'm unable to speak, barely able to breathe. I have never easily let anyone in past my barriers, not in such a long time. What if I lose her, just like I've lost so many others?

"Regina?" Emma's soft voice comes from the direction of the house behind me.

"G-Go back to sleep, Emma." Wincing at my stammering, I curl into myself a little more. "You have work in a few hours."

"I could say the same for you," she replies and I can hear her shuffling over to me in the snow. "I thought you were just getting a cup of tea."

Holding up my mostly empty mug, I shrug and keep staring up at the stars. "Couldn't get back to sleep, so I thought I'd come look at the stars. It's nearly new moon, you know."

Emma comes closer, forcing me to shift my position on the swing to make room for her. As she settles next to me, I automatically gravitate to her side and rest my head on her shoulder. It feels good to be held and loved. Her lips press to the top of my head as her arm wraps around my body, holding me close.

"You feel cold, babe," she murmurs into my hair. "How long have you been sitting out here?"

"Not sure. But I can still feel all of my extremities, and no, before you ask, I didn't use magic in any way, shape, or form to stay warm. All I had was my robe, slippers, and this mug of chamomile tea."

She chuckles at that, still nuzzling into my hair, but doesn't say anything for a long moment or two. "So what's got you sleepless in Storybrooke?"

I can feel her grin as I groan at her words. "You're incorrigible, Emma Swan. I hope you know that."

"Yep, I do, and that's not going to get you out of answering my question, Regina. You should know me better than that by now."

"I know." I frown, unsure of how to explain things to her when I'm not entirely sure I understand them myself.

"You miss her, don't you?" she finally asks, pressing another kiss to my hair. Her hands have been in constant motion, stroking and coddling me, keeping me aware of her presence and her love. "The Emma that wasn't me?"

"I don't like it when you call her that. She wasn't even r--" The word gets stuck in my throat, choked off by impending tears.

"We've talked about this, Regina," she says with a resigned sigh, "and I still say she was as real to you as I am. You lived out part of what should have been an entire lifetime with her. In fact, at that point in time, you technically had spent more time with her than with me. She's real, end of story. Please stop trying to say she wasn't."

"But--"

"No, Regina. Just like I consider the Evil Queen to be another version of you, someone you _had_ to become in order to survive with even a scrap of sanity, I consider Princess Emma to be another version of me. You even said there were a few similarities to me, particularly without knowing me when I was that same age." She shifts then, forcing me to turn to face her or fall to the snowy ground, and cups my chin in her hand. "Sweetheart, look at me."

"Emma…"

"Please?" Even if I wanted to, I can't resist that tone in her voice, and find her smiling encouragingly when I meet her gaze. "I love you, Regina, more than anything. You and Henry are my life, you know that. But that doesn't mean that I stopped loving anyone else I may have loved in the past. It's just different now. My heart is big enough to have so many different kinds of love, just like yours is. I know you love Princess Emma, and I'm okay with that. I really don't know how to explain it to you any better… I harbor no jealousy toward what you and she had. In fact, I'm _grateful_ to her because she allowed you to open yourself to the possibility of loving me."

Tears fill my eyes at her words, and I can feel their veracity across the bond forged from our love and our magic. She leans in to kiss away each tear that slips down my cheeks, her touch so light that I'd swear I'm imagining it if not for watching her lean in every single time. Scooting closer, my fingers tangle in her sleep-tousled hair, clinging for dear life as the tears continue to fall. Her hands move to cup my face, thumbs wiping at the damp trails on my cheeks as she drops gentle kisses to my forehead, eyelids, lips.

" _Amo-te, querida_." My words sound rough in my ears, but I can't stop from repeating them once more.

"Shh, sweetheart, it's okay," she whispers, breath ghosting across my lips. "I know you love me, and I love you, too. Just take a deep breath and try to calm down for me. We're going to be okay, I promise."

I nod slowly, resting my forehead against hers, just needing the closeness to help get my racing emotions in check. One of her hands continues to cup my cheek as the other glides down to rest at the small of my back, holding me close. Her lips gently brush against mine again, offering the benediction of understanding and patience, and I can't stop the heavy sigh. My fingers begin to loosen their death grip on her hair, wanting nothing more than to hold her close as the kisses grow longer, more intimate.

Before I realize it, the familiar buzz of our combine magic flows over me, followed by the change in atmosphere. Pulling back from the kisses, I blink owlishly at her before glancing around to see our bedroom. "What--?"

"I thought it was easier than trying to walk us both into the house and up here," Emma replies with a sheepish grin, so similar to the one that first began to thaw my heart toward her on our first meeting. "Besides, did you want to potentially wake Henry and have him worry about you being so upset?"

Shaking my head, I smile my thanks for her quick thinking. "I don't deserve y--"

"Don't you _dare_ even finish that thought, Regina! You sure as hell do deserve me. You deserve to have your happy ending finally. I'm honored that I get to be part of it." She kisses the remaining tears slipping down my cheeks before taking tender possession of my lips. "You and I still fight like cats and dogs when we really get into it, but no one else makes me feel so comfortable in my own skin. You know how to push all my buttons, good and bad, and how to make me reach for the best parts of me. No one has ever had such faith in me like you have. I am so much less without you. I love you, Regina."

I sniffle inelegantly and narrow my eyes at her. "You sound suspiciously like you have something up your sleeve, Emma Swan." There's no malice in my voice, but she has stoked my curiosity and, by the gleam in her eyes, she knows it.

"Well, I know our anniversary is tomorrow, and I'd planned on doing this then, but…" She pauses to turn around and pull something from her nightstand. Facing me again, she sets a small jewelry box in my hand. "I, um-- Just open it, okay?"

I nod slowly, finger stroking the deep blue velvet of the box, so reminiscent of the sky tonight, before I open it to suck in a startled breath as I stare at the silver band, delicate diamond chips accentuating twin hearts of amethyst and blue topaz. "E-Emma?"

She cradles my hand in hers, offering me a watery smile, and I notice the shimmer of tears in those mossy eyes I love to lose myself in. Without thought, I lean over our hands to kiss her gently, tongue tip slipping out to drag against her bottom lip, eliciting a soft groan from my love.

"Damn it, Regina!" she growls good-naturedly. "Don't distract me before I explain what this is." She clears her throat, tucking a lock of hair behind her ears nervously as she glances at the alarm clock. "So tomorrow, or I guess it's actually today, is the second anniversary of the day we stopped Pan's curse and began this crazy journey together as a couple and a family. This is an important day for everyone in town, because it saved us all from who knows what kind of hell, but it's also _our_ day.

"When you passed out, I was terrified. I couldn't wake you up, didn't know how to fix it, and it was killing me to be such a complete and useless fuckup. I made myself a promise that if you woke up, I'd get serious about my magic so that I could be more useful as the Savior. And then you told me how we had to break Pan's curse. I'm not gonna lie, Regina, it scared the hell out of me. You know that family's never been something I could rely on. Not until you and Henry, and my parents, too."

She pauses to take a breath, allowing me the opportunity to lean in for another gentle kiss. "Thank you for that, _querida_. You and Henry are all I need to be happy."

"I know, and I don't ever want you to forget that we love you." She traces the ring with a fingertip. "That day we were in the mine, do you remember that?" I nod slowly, curious as to where she's going with this line of thought. "Do you remember how you said you weren't strong enough, but I said we're stronger together?"

Tears blur my vision again, as I remember that tense moment in our lives. "Oh yes, and I wasn't sure I could believe you, but I tried."

"And we beat the diamond. We stopped it with our magic. Your purple and my whitish blue combined to defeat the black diamond. That's what this ring symbolizes. When we work together, nothing can stop us. Well, except maybe Henry's puppy dog eyes."

"He learned that from you and your mother, you know. Clearly it's genetic somehow, I'm just not quite sure how."

"Regardless, outside of that, there's nothing we can't accomplish if we work together." She picks up the ring from the box and holds it toward me. "Regina, would you do me the honor of wearing this ring as a promise that I will always put you and Henry first, no matter what's happening? I can't promise that I won't do anything stupid, but I can promise you that I'll never act like I'm a hopeless drifter in search of a home. I have a home here with you and our son, and I love every second of my life with you both."

I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, unable to speak, and nod. It takes a moment for me to hold out my hand, and I'm not even surprised that it's the left. Emma takes it shakily and blows out a heavy breath before she can slide the ring onto the third finger of my left hand. The fit is perfect and I feel the power of our bond amplify through the contact with the silver band. She lifts my hand to press a gentle kiss to my knuckles.

" _Amo-te, querida,_ " I whisper. " _Amo-te_."

Without thought I cup her face in my hands, bestowing a kiss on her lips that sends those same sparks of magic through me as the first time we kissed. She moans softly, offering me the opportunity to slip my tongue past her lips to twine with hers. One of my hands glides back into her hair, reveling in the silken tresses that have captivated me for so long. Tightening my fingers elicits another moan from her, accompanied by a shiver, and I pull back to study her face. Her eyes are dilated so much, the pupils have eclipsed the green of her irises entirely.

With a deft flick of my wrist, our scant sleepwear is removed and I shiver at the cooler air touching my naked skin. Tugging at her hair, I pull Emma down to the mattress with me, straddling her body as I kiss her again. My right hand glides down her side before lightly raking my nails back up from mid-thigh to just under the swell of her left breast, chuckling into the kiss as she arches up with a hiss. Kissing and nipping my way along the curve of her jaw and down to the pulse point beating erratically at the base of her throat, my hand repeats its path of sweet torment before grazing her nipple with a nail.

"Regina," she whimpers, hands blindly groping for my shoulders to hold me close.

"Shh," I murmur against skin already going slick with sweat. "I've got you now. I have no gift to match your ring, so allow me to show my love in this way."

Emma groans and tugs at my head until I shift to meet her gaze again. "Don't need a gift. Together, just like everything else."

Her request sends a thrill of desire down my spine to pool wetly between my thighs. "As you wish, my love." Without another word, I shift to press our bodies together, clits rubbing and sliding in the slick heat of our combined need. My lips find hers again, crashing together as our tongues parry and thrust in an ancient duel both of us will always win.

*****

Dawn breaks, cloudy and cold, more snow on the ground after our retreat into the warm cocoon of our bed. Only the sheet covers our naked bodies, and I'm roused from peaceful sleep by a sound interrupting the steady beat of Emma's heart. It takes a moment to realize she's softly humming as she cards her fingers through my hair.

"Morning, babe," she murmurs before returning to the tune I can't quite place.

Rolling onto my back, I stretch languidly and enjoy the stretch of muscles stiff from our nighttime activities. Warm lips surround one of my nipples and I groan softly in response. She kisses her way up to my lips, a mischievous smile dancing in her eyes before she kisses me with wanton abandon.

"And a good morning to you, too, Emma. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary. You _do_ realize that we should probably get dressed, right? I'm pretty sure I heard Henry planning a surprise breakfast in bed for us today."

Right on cue, there's a knock at the door. Lazily twirling a finger as I kiss Emma again, I get us back into our pajamas and hopefully dissipate the scent of sex still heavy in the air. At the second knock, I curl into Emma's side again and call out, "Come in, Henry."

He opens the door, then picks up the tray resting on the floor. As he walks in, I see not only this handsome young man that he's growing into, but the little boy who greeted me with breakfast in bed for every birthday and Mother's Day from the time he knew how to make cereal and open a juice box. He sets the tray on the nightstand by Emma, and I can see the two red roses in the vase, as well as cups of coffee, toast, bacon, and an omelet that smells heavenly.

"Morning, Moms," he says and kisses both of our cheeks. "Happy anniversary. And I'm supposed to tell you that Grandma wants to know when you're getting out of bed because we have a town festival that requires the Mayor and Sheriff to attend." The smirk tugging at the corners of his lips reminds me far too much of said grandmother at that same age. He waits for Emma to grab a cup of coffee and take a sip before adding, "Oh, and she said you're allowed to be late if you give her another grandchild, but only for that reason."

The next sounds I hear are Emma coughing and spluttering as coffee spews from her mouth, combined with Henry's devious cackle trailing behind when he runs out of the room. I rub Emma's back and use magic to return the coffee mug to the tray.

"I know we can't ground my mother for that, but we can ground Henry for it, right?" she finally asks when the coughing spasms finally die down. "Or is that being unfair to the messenger?"

"Oh, I'm sure we can come up with appropriate punishment for both of them," I reply, then press a gentle kiss to her lips. "Happy anniversary, my love. I love you."

"I love you, too, babe. Happy anniversary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [](http://imgur.com/HuHXvUA)   
> 
> 
> Research Links
> 
>   * Portuguese terminology: [here](http://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/the/portuguese-word-for-apple_tree.html), [here](http://blogs.transparent.com/portuguese/terms-of-endearment/), [here](http://en.bab.la/dictionary/english-portuguese/i-love-you), [here](http://www.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_say_honey_in_Portuguese)  
> 
>   * The names of the religious orders came from [Fantasy Name Generators](http://fantasynamegenerators.com/)  
> 
>   * Name meanings: [Regina](http://www.babynology.com/meaning-regina-f51.html) & [Esther](http://www.babynology.com/meaning-esther-f51.html)  
> 
>   * Hair & eye color traits for Portuguese people: [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portuguese_people#General_traits)  
> 
>   * Medieval garb info: [here](http://www.answers.com/Q/What_did_people_wear_in_the_Middle_Ages)  
> 
>   * The basis for Regina's Naming Ceremony gown: [here](http://screencapped.net/tv/onceuponatime/albums/userpics/10003/ouat0118br-1428.jpg) & [here](http://screencapped.net/tv/onceuponatime/albums/userpics/10003/ouat0202hd-2116.jpg)  
> 
>   * Regina's ring: [here](http://www.kay.com/images/products/9102/910262005_MV_ZM.jpg)  
> 
>   * Emma's ring: [here](http://static.myjewelrybox.com/media/products/11911/08CH50319MGW_details.jpg)
> 



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